Yes, you read that correctly (cue jokes from friends saying “Cam, I already knew that”). But, in recent times I have seriously come to this conclusion. For two reasons, both of which pretty much imply that there’s no way that I can’t be an asshole (which is also a realization that could only come from an asshole, a pessimistic one at that). I promise you that I will explain why.

But first…

I’m in a knock-down-drag-out fight with social media right now. The fight has only been exacerbated by the upcoming election which may or may not make me take a break from social media. That being said, some posts just don’t make sense in the context of other posts.

For example: it makes no sense to see a post about how the government shouldn’t do anything because we shouldn’t trust it, and follow it with a pro-life, anti-abortion post. Couple that with a post about how you don’t watch the news or read the newspaper because it spews lies, then another about which politician should win the election, and you’ve covered all your bases.

How would you even know who should win if you don’t watch or read the news? Did you attend a rally for that candidate in person? My initial thought is probably not until proven otherwise.

Those are more serious examples, but this one also kept popping up in my newsfeed a few weeks ago:

Are you serious!? Technically isn’t he providing the media about “that sub eating guy” by posting this? Anyway, I won’t get into that issue too much, but it does provide a great transition into the first reason why I’m an asshole:

Reason #1: The Race Card

The issue stems from this question:

Why can’t we still do that? Read: why can’t we still call people on their racism (mostly when blatant)?

This is a legitimate issue and it all starts with “the race card”. I thought back to World History class my freshman year of high school when I heard the ever so eloquently put phrase “well, racism doesn’t really exist anymore.” I can’t even remember what chapter we were learning about but apparently it was the chapter when pigs flew, unicorns pranced about in fairy inhabited forests, and marijuana was legal everywhere (even the South). Maybe the Ottoman Empire? Either way, I looked to my left, then to my right, the one other black guy in my grade was nowhere to be found. I had to pull the dreaded race card, which today just means you’re taking a giant sports-proverbial “L” for black people if you are, like me, often the only black person present when a race card is pulled (most of the time by you or the one white person who always feels like they need to speak up for you).

You immediately become the race card asshole in just about every attempt to pull the race card on a serious issue. Granted, I do jokingly pull the race card on a good amount of trivial issues, but it’s exactly that, a joke. Either way, you’re threatening to disrupt a society where racial discussions have become taboo.

To return to the Bill Cosby example (even though I disagree with the post), no matter what the motives were of the person who created it, [according to modern society] that person is an asshole because they pulled the race card. I don’t agree with the post at all, but the example is important because my disdain for it brings me to reason number two why I’m an asshole (perhaps the more interesting of the two):

Reason #2: Tone policing

http://groupthink.kinja.com/on-tone-policing-why-its-bullshit-and-why-you-need-to-1148310719

I read an article the other day (above) that claimed that people need to stop tone policing each other. I had no idea what this meant so I read on. Essentially, the article said that the people who are consistently sitting behind the scenes and judging how other people choose to voice their opinion about whatever issue, are inhibitors. Read: Cam, this is you, you’re an inhibitor.

I’m not a fan of premature judgment but the hypocrisy is palpable. What I’m doing is taking those people who take that race card and actually do something with it and claiming that they aren’t doing it right (see Bill Cosby example above). See what I mean by asshole? How sweet it would be to have one of those race card pulling assholes by my side as I shovel these “L’s” into premature graves because let’s face it, they never had a chance from the start.

In the context of sports:

Growing up in Indiana there was always that question of “is this coach not playing me because I’m black, or because he doesn’t think I’m good enough?” This is one of the worst ‘slippery slope’ questions that I feel like one can ask in our “post-racism/black president world.” (Both legitimate present day examples I’ve heard with my own ears). I think you’d be surprised how many black people would say they’ve asked themselves that question, especially in sports like baseball, or any sport really depending on where you’re from. It’s easy to deny and even provide ulterior motives to legitimize the decision. But, when you’re in the minority, it’s almost impossible to prove without having your complaints fall on deaf ears.

LeSean McCoy and DeSean Jackson recently left the Eagles, claiming that Chip Kelly was racist. I will be honest here, my first thought is skepticism. They could be angry about contracts or something else, especially at the superstar level. But, what if they’re right? The alternative that no one wants to entertain would now be truth. Would anybody even listen to them? Would any action be taken barring some sort of monumental Donald Sterling screw up? Just something to think about.

So, my choices (as nihilistic as they may be):

Pull the race card (active) = ASSHOLE

OR

Judge pulled race cards from afar (passive) = ASSHOLE

Funny to think about, but in all seriousness, a terrible situation to be in. You’re either “the boy who cried wolf” or you’re the person who didn’t believe him and did nothing when the wolf actually came. Is it better to just believe the boy every time he calls wolf? If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn’t be writing this.

But don’t take my word for it, I’m just an asshole.